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Bible, Life prep, Personal

My Tribute to Chris Klicka, the greatest man I ever knew personally

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Yesterday Cathy and Megan returned from a memorial service in Virginia where homeschool champion, Chris Klicka, was honored. I never want to forget this hero of mine. On this post, I summarize reflections from his memorial service, that I might not forget, and in not forgetting, live better.

For a brief summary of his life and some of the words of others, see:

This statement appeared in the memorial service program:  “Christopher J. Klicka was born on Resurrection Day, April 2, 1961 and died on Columbus Day, October 12, 2009. By earthly standards Chris (being a slightly premature baby) arrived early and departed early – at age forty-eight. Not limited by earthly standards, however, Chris packed more into life in those forty-eight years than many do into ninety, and is recognized as one of the foremost leaders of the homeschool movement. Chris completed his undergraduate studies at Grove City College, PA, where he met his wife, Tracy. Upon graduation from Grove City College, Chris attended O.W. Coburn School of Law, Tulsa, OK, from which he received is Juris Doctorate. Chris was then welcomed as the first full-time employee and attorney of Home School Legal Defense Association, and soon became HSLDA’s first executive director and later its senior counsel. During the twenty-four years of his employment with HSLDA Chris served tens of thousands of homeschooling families both directly and indirectly as a legal advocate, conference speaker, author, lobbyist, and loving husband and father.”

I wrote the following on my Facebook the day I learned of his death: “This morning, the greatest man I ever had a personal relationship with died. Chris Klicka was a tireless advocate for homeschooling over his exceptional legal career and a great example of a man who loved God, his family, the church.  I hope I never forget Chris’ extraordinary example, knowing him over his 15 year struggle with multiple sclerosis, and how he never let it defeat him or make him bitter but just kept on working. I am glad his struggle is over but mourning over the permanence of the loss in this life.”

I went to Virginia not due to any special relationship with him but to honor Christ via honoring his man, who honored Christ via his life of passion and persistence for Christ and His Kingdom.  As we heard at the memorial service, Chris favorite verse was Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

I also went for myself. Chris is a hero of mine and I wanted to hear that more fully so that I might not soon forget him. Chris contributed much to the work of Christ’s kingdom. He also suffered much, yet never gave in. I need to never lose heart in doing good. And when I am tempted to give in, I want to remember his determination and tenacity and faith and love.  I want to remember his great accomplishments and yet he his time for family and friends and to enjoy life.

A reading of Chris’ life verse: Matthew 6:19-33, esp. verse 33:

Matt 6:19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

24 “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

A favorite quote from C.S. Lewis: “Aim at heaven and you get earth thrown in; aim at earth and you get nothing.”

From Gregg Harris – What distinguishes Chris? His passion.  Gregg told of a time when Chris was a young, nervous attorney and the two of them spoke at a Wisconsin state home school convention. Gregg shared the passage of Job 29:2-17 with Chris and how Chris had expressed a passionate desire to live out that passage, especially v. 17 (Job 29:16 “I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger. 17 I broke the fangs of the wicked and snatched the victims from their teeth”). Chris said, “I want to be like that guy!”, and he truly did become that, a person who would break the fangs of those who sought to attack the freedom of parents to educate their children at home.

Gregg also shared of Chris’ struggle with M.S. and Chris’ clinging to God’s promise to provide strength in that struggle and to show His power through it. Chris lived out what Paul spoke of in the following passage:

2 Cor 12:7 “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong”.

From Michael Smith, President of HSLDA – Chris’ life was exemplified by:

  • His determination (he must have been a strong-willed child; yet he channeled his determination for good).
  • He was a tremendous lawyer.
  • He was interested in every person he met.
  • He was fearless due to his faith. He fell over 400 times, some times causing serious injuries,  and yet kept on getting up and serving.

There is no replacement for Chris. He will be missed. He is leaving a huge hole.

But he also leaves a great legacy for us to see and follow. We can live like him in that we too can be all that we were met to be.

From Joshua Harris

  • Chris sought to protect God’s people.
  • Chris’ favorite verse was from Matt 6 (see above). He passed away a wealthy man in all that truly mattered.

A scripture reading from Rick Boyer

Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Chris’ family shared as well. I was impressed by not only their words but their composure. They spoke of:

  • his enthusiasm for life, his infectious joy,
  • his love of the word of God, and of the encouragement and confidence, it gave in his later life
  • his deep love of people.

His daughter Megan read from Philippians 3:7-14

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

She also shared of his hero, Eric Little, who said, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. When I run, I feel God’s pleasure.” Megan closed by stating, “Daddy felt God’s pleasure.”

His oldest daughter Bethany shared from Hebrews 12:1-2

Heb 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

She said that Chris ran not to finish the race but to win. She (and I) is convinced that when Chris went to heaven, the witnesses were giving him a standing ovation.

My closing thoughts

Bethany did not read it, but I cannot help but add verse 3 of the passage above:

Hebrews 12:3 “Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

We need to consider that likes of Chris, so that we may not grow weary in doing good.

Chris wore himself out, to hear the words, “Well Done, good and faithful servant. Enter in the joy of your master.” He has now entered into that joy.

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David and Cathy’s blog and 30th wedding celebration page

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This summer (June 16th) Cathy and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. We took our big trip during December to the Philippines as part of this celebration. On August 29, we celebrated our 30th anniversary by renewing our vows before our friends.  Cathy was beautiful in her wedding dress. As we did after our wedding, we had a square dance after this event, which was great fun.

I created a new blog for Cathy and I that has pictures of the event, the slide show we put together for the event highlighting our 30 years together, our vows, and “our story”.  You can see all of this  that at www.dcbarfield.org.

David

Bible, Life prep, Personal, Work

Graduation thoughts for my niece

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To my niece Bethany on her high school graduation

May 23, 2009

Bethany – congratulations on your graduation.  You are not a different person than you were yesterday, but your circumstances are changing in a significant way. You will not be going back to your high school; you will soon be moving from home; a great number of your friendships will change and others will come.

I think you have chosen well to serve in your church for the coming year.

You have been blessed as few have with loving and wise and discerning parents. God has also blessed you with a great big sister and great set of friends.  As you move on to the next part of life, do not fail to continue to benefit from them.

I want to briefly share a couple of verses that have meant much to me in my life journey. One is a verse with much encouragement; the other is a passage of challenge.

A verse of encouragement

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

My girls could write the script of what I am going to share here as they have heard it at their graduations. Here is what I find encouraging:

  • V 8-9 God has brought salvation, not dependent on our good works and therefore uncertain, but based on His grace and gift, we can freely receive.
  • For me as a Christian, who have accepted that gift, I find verse 10 very encouraging.  It should be encouraging to all who call Christ Savoir as I know you do.
  • You are not an accident: you have been made by God. You are His work of art. While you and I may be imperfect in many ways, God declares you as suitable for His purpose.
  • You were made for a purpose: for good works. God has specifically made you Bethany for a specific life work that it is your opportunity to find and do.
  • You are not alone: God goes ahead of you. Finding and doing that work is not always easy. God promises that you are not alone in it. He goes ahead of you and will help you at each turn.

So be encouraged Bethany.  God has saved you and made you to be a blessing to this world. Find it and do it.

A verse of challenge

As good as life is much of the time, seasons of life come that are a challenge. There are times when friends will leave or disappoint; when your work may not be particularly fulfilling; when you will be called to do hard things.  Despite all the good I have in my life in wife, kids, church, career and blessings of living in this free land, I have had difficult seasons of life.

The scriptures speak to this. In the books of Colossians, Paul writes to the slaves of that city and era. I cannot think of a situation where one would feel more trapped. But even in such circumstances, which is so much more difficult than I might have to experience, one can find the ability to live excellently, to do right, and to find reward.

Colossians 3:22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

The secret of contentment and progress in difficult seasons (really all seasons):

  • Do the work God has given you whole-heartedly. Even when parents, friends, employer or future spouse do not recognize you or praise you or reward you.  Do the work whole-heartedly.
  • Do it all to please Him, not people.  Three times in this passage we are told: we work for the Lord.
  • Realize God sees it all.
  • Realize God that will reward you for those labors to please Him even if no one around you does.

So when life is hard, do right anyway to please God. He will reward as parent, friend, employer, or spouse cannot.

In sum Bethany, do not forget the many, many blessings and benefits God has brought you. Chose and live well for many are distracted or stumble for lack of care of these things.

Uncle David

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Oriented toward growth

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[note: this posting is under construction; it is my first use of an audio clip; after I get that working, I will work on my written introduction and highlights]

More from the book/CD I have been reading/listening to: Integrity, the Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Dr. Henry Cloud.

Below is a short 4 minutes that starts with his question:

What does it take to create growth? Listen below

More to come….

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Oriented Toward Truth

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“Reality is always your friend, everything else is a fantasy.”

“There are a lot of honest, non-fudging people that are not reaching their potential. The reason is not that they are lying but that they are missing parts of reality that are important to making things work.”

Those are a couple of the quotes hitting me from the book Integrity, the Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Dr. Henry Cloud that I am reading. I am getting a lot out of a book and will be summarizing it here. Below is a summary of two chapters on our orientation toward truth.      David

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From Integrity, the Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Dr. Henry Cloud.Summary by David Barfield, January 2009. For my full summary: Integrity-includes-being-oriented-toward-truth.doc

From Chapter 7 – In Touch with Reality

Truth 101
•    Being “oriented toward truth” concerns honesty, ethical behavior, and this is a foundation of it, but not the whole of it.  It includes the ability to be honest, even in difficult situation, esp. then. It involves not fudging, even if it does not hurt someone.
•    To hide truth when there are potential consequences is part of human nature and sadly one that usually makes us incur more negative consequences than if we had told the truth.
•    “The consequences of deceit are usually greater than the ones of truth.”
•    Truth 101 = tell the truth and to give a representation of reality to others as best one understand it.

Truth 201 and above
•    Yet there are a lot of honest, non-fudging people that are not reaching their potential. The reason is not that they are lying but that they are missing parts of reality that are important to making things work. In the kind of successful character we are talking about [in this book], the integrated whole character, a grasp of truth is always present and increasing.
•    “Reality is always your friend, everything else is a fantasy.”
•    “For us to get results in the real world, we must be in touch with what is, not what we wish things were, or think things should be or are led by others to believe they are.  The only thing that is going to be real in the end is what is”
•    Confront the Brutal Facts.
•    High achievers face reality and deal with it [rather than blame others; circumstances; excusing self].
•    We can only make the universe we live in better by facing how it really is.
•    But to get in step with reality, we must see it as it really is first.

From Chapter 8 – What people in touch look like

•    Rich Warren’s example in starting a church. “What he did, instead [of assuming he knew what he was doing; what people wanted/needed in a church], was go door-to-door and ask people why they didn’t go to church. Then, he built a church that had none of those reasons.” He did not assume or think or act as if he knew what reality was. Instead, he sought it.
•    “The people who see reality as their friend, however, do not assume they have a grasp on it.”
•    Story of an executive of Proctor and Gamble who went to China and spent some time with them, working to understand them and how they thought. He learned how the Chinese view teeth (hard, impenetrable). This allowed them to correct this misunderstanding and sell their toothpaste. What accomplished that? Character. It has his character that did not assume that he knew it all.
•    People who have an orientation toward truth seek it out.
•    The opposite of actively seeking truth is avoidance.
•    There are three types of truth to be sought:
1) Truth about our world. What is the world really like? Are there new realities to deal with?
2) Truth about themselves. They don’t wait for feedback but seek it. They see feedback, even difficult (maybe esp. so) as a gift.
o    This is how we find out our strengths and weaknesses.
o    We excel by maximizing our strengths and finding ways around our weakness.
o    The less we look at our shortcomings, the more other do.
o    While it is natural to do so, we must not be afraid of find the truth about ourselves: that we have faults to do with, the my view of myself is fixed in non-reality or an old reality, that I lack skills I need to find, etc.
o    Ask people for 100% of their feedback as it is often the last 10% they hold back as it is difficult that is the most helpful and needed to be the best you can be. Sometimes that feedback can be a positive we do not want to embrace as it would require us to take responsibility for it.
3) Truth about other people. We can be blind about others when we are emotionally invested in them somehow (a boy or girl friend, a child, someone we hired, etc).
•    “Wise people are ‘cautions in friendships’ as the proverb says. They seek to get to know a person clearly, as the person truly is, before they hire him, marry him, become partners with him, or divorce him, fire him, or not go forward with him. We can be off in either direction, and the complete character is always asking, ‘Is this me, or him?’”
•    Judgment and Emotional States – we need the ability to control one’s thinking when emotions are inflamed
•    Often when we see things as wholly black or white, we miss a lot of reality.
•    “Resolving conflict is more than difficult, as resolutions usually requires an ability to see and work with the truth from the other side and integrate it into yours, finding a solution that transcends either polarity.”
•    Seeing It Differently: The Ability to Assimilate and Accommodate
o    It is a good thing for your view of the world to be the real one. But it is often not or it is incomplete.
o    We need the ability to make external reality our own.  First, to change, we need new information (assimilation).   Second, we need to make room for it in our view of the world.

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We’re home; update on Cathy’s injury

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1/9/09 update on Cathy – Cathy is recovering well. Yesterday Cathy got a walking boot so she is now more mobile.

Return home – We made it safely back to the US on December 30. The trip from Manila to Kansas is a long one, even under the best of conditions. With Cathy’s injury to her ankle, it was more difficult for her. But we were very well taken care of by Northwest Airlines and made it fine with all of our belongings.

tibia_fibula

Cathy’s broken fibula – Cathy went to the doctor on New Year’s Eve and found out the problem is not a severely sprained ankle as we had thought but a broken lower fibula (the smaller bone of the lower leg). She got a splint on Wednesday and saw an orthopedic doctor yesterday.  It looks like she will be in some form of split or cast for a number of weeks. She is not enjoying being a couch potato with her ankle raised above her heart (as it is still swollen) and asks you to pray for her perseverance during this time.  The swelling seems to be gradually subsiding and the doctor may give her a walking cast next Wednesday.

Dealing with jet lag – I have heard jet lag is harder to deal with as you travel east than when you travel west. I would agree with this assessment based on my experience.  When I went west, I was exhausted early and then wake up early. On traveling east, I went to bed and then was not able to fall asleep. Very frustrating. Last night I finally got 6 hours of sleep. Cathy however is a great sleeper and has not had near the time to adjust as me.

Giving up dial-up – I am now Megan’s hero as we finally have give up on the internet via modem, now using a Sprint AirCard (satellite was our only other option). So far the Aircard is working fine so far.

Work – I will be returning to work on Monday after three weeks off. It is good that I am fairly well rested as it is going to be a very busy next four months with a legislative session (that will be difficult due to budget problems that Kansas is experience with everyone else) and a trial on one of our interestate water disputes on top of the normal duties of the chief engineer position.