David and Cathy’s blog and 30th wedding celebration page

This summer (June 16th) Cathy and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. We took our big trip during December to the Philippines as part of this celebration. On August 29, we celebrated our 30th anniversary by renewing our vows before our friends.  Cathy was beautiful in her wedding dress. As we did after our wedding, we had a square dance after this event, which was great fun.

I created a new blog for Cathy and I that has pictures of the event, the slide show we put together for the event highlighting our 30 years together, our vows, and “our story”.  You can see all of this  that at www.dcbarfield.org.

David

Graduation thoughts for my niece

To my niece Bethany on her high school graduation

May 23, 2009

Bethany – congratulations on your graduation.  You are not a different person than you were yesterday, but your circumstances are changing in a significant way. You will not be going back to your high school; you will soon be moving from home; a great number of your friendships will change and others will come.

I think you have chosen well to serve in your church for the coming year.

You have been blessed as few have with loving and wise and discerning parents. God has also blessed you with a great big sister and great set of friends.  As you move on to the next part of life, do not fail to continue to benefit from them.

I want to briefly share a couple of verses that have meant much to me in my life journey. One is a verse with much encouragement; the other is a passage of challenge.

A verse of encouragement

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

My girls could write the script of what I am going to share here as they have heard it at their graduations. Here is what I find encouraging:

  • V 8-9 God has brought salvation, not dependent on our good works and therefore uncertain, but based on His grace and gift, we can freely receive.
  • For me as a Christian, who have accepted that gift, I find verse 10 very encouraging.  It should be encouraging to all who call Christ Savoir as I know you do.
  • You are not an accident: you have been made by God. You are His work of art. While you and I may be imperfect in many ways, God declares you as suitable for His purpose.
  • You were made for a purpose: for good works. God has specifically made you Bethany for a specific life work that it is your opportunity to find and do.
  • You are not alone: God goes ahead of you. Finding and doing that work is not always easy. God promises that you are not alone in it. He goes ahead of you and will help you at each turn.

So be encouraged Bethany.  God has saved you and made you to be a blessing to this world. Find it and do it.

A verse of challenge

As good as life is much of the time, seasons of life come that are a challenge. There are times when friends will leave or disappoint; when your work may not be particularly fulfilling; when you will be called to do hard things.  Despite all the good I have in my life in wife, kids, church, career and blessings of living in this free land, I have had difficult seasons of life.

The scriptures speak to this. In the books of Colossians, Paul writes to the slaves of that city and era. I cannot think of a situation where one would feel more trapped. But even in such circumstances, which is so much more difficult than I might have to experience, one can find the ability to live excellently, to do right, and to find reward.

Colossians 3:22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

The secret of contentment and progress in difficult seasons (really all seasons):

  • Do the work God has given you whole-heartedly. Even when parents, friends, employer or future spouse do not recognize you or praise you or reward you.  Do the work whole-heartedly.
  • Do it all to please Him, not people.  Three times in this passage we are told: we work for the Lord.
  • Realize God sees it all.
  • Realize God that will reward you for those labors to please Him even if no one around you does.

So when life is hard, do right anyway to please God. He will reward as parent, friend, employer, or spouse cannot.

In sum Bethany, do not forget the many, many blessings and benefits God has brought you. Chose and live well for many are distracted or stumble for lack of care of these things.

Uncle David

Oriented toward growth

[note: this posting is under construction; it is my first use of an audio clip; after I get that working, I will work on my written introduction and highlights]

More from the book/CD I have been reading/listening to: Integrity, the Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Dr. Henry Cloud.

Below is a short 4 minutes that starts with his question:

What does it take to create growth? Listen below

More to come….

Oriented Toward Truth

“Reality is always your friend, everything else is a fantasy.”

“There are a lot of honest, non-fudging people that are not reaching their potential. The reason is not that they are lying but that they are missing parts of reality that are important to making things work.”

Those are a couple of the quotes hitting me from the book Integrity, the Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Dr. Henry Cloud that I am reading. I am getting a lot out of a book and will be summarizing it here. Below is a summary of two chapters on our orientation toward truth.      David

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From Integrity, the Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Dr. Henry Cloud.Summary by David Barfield, January 2009. For my full summary: Integrity-includes-being-oriented-toward-truth.doc

From Chapter 7 – In Touch with Reality

Truth 101
•    Being “oriented toward truth” concerns honesty, ethical behavior, and this is a foundation of it, but not the whole of it.  It includes the ability to be honest, even in difficult situation, esp. then. It involves not fudging, even if it does not hurt someone.
•    To hide truth when there are potential consequences is part of human nature and sadly one that usually makes us incur more negative consequences than if we had told the truth.
•    “The consequences of deceit are usually greater than the ones of truth.”
•    Truth 101 = tell the truth and to give a representation of reality to others as best one understand it.

Truth 201 and above
•    Yet there are a lot of honest, non-fudging people that are not reaching their potential. The reason is not that they are lying but that they are missing parts of reality that are important to making things work. In the kind of successful character we are talking about [in this book], the integrated whole character, a grasp of truth is always present and increasing.
•    “Reality is always your friend, everything else is a fantasy.”
•    “For us to get results in the real world, we must be in touch with what is, not what we wish things were, or think things should be or are led by others to believe they are.  The only thing that is going to be real in the end is what is”
•    Confront the Brutal Facts.
•    High achievers face reality and deal with it [rather than blame others; circumstances; excusing self].
•    We can only make the universe we live in better by facing how it really is.
•    But to get in step with reality, we must see it as it really is first.

From Chapter 8 – What people in touch look like

•    Rich Warren’s example in starting a church. “What he did, instead [of assuming he knew what he was doing; what people wanted/needed in a church], was go door-to-door and ask people why they didn’t go to church. Then, he built a church that had none of those reasons.” He did not assume or think or act as if he knew what reality was. Instead, he sought it.
•    “The people who see reality as their friend, however, do not assume they have a grasp on it.”
•    Story of an executive of Proctor and Gamble who went to China and spent some time with them, working to understand them and how they thought. He learned how the Chinese view teeth (hard, impenetrable). This allowed them to correct this misunderstanding and sell their toothpaste. What accomplished that? Character. It has his character that did not assume that he knew it all.
•    People who have an orientation toward truth seek it out.
•    The opposite of actively seeking truth is avoidance.
•    There are three types of truth to be sought:
1) Truth about our world. What is the world really like? Are there new realities to deal with?
2) Truth about themselves. They don’t wait for feedback but seek it. They see feedback, even difficult (maybe esp. so) as a gift.
o    This is how we find out our strengths and weaknesses.
o    We excel by maximizing our strengths and finding ways around our weakness.
o    The less we look at our shortcomings, the more other do.
o    While it is natural to do so, we must not be afraid of find the truth about ourselves: that we have faults to do with, the my view of myself is fixed in non-reality or an old reality, that I lack skills I need to find, etc.
o    Ask people for 100% of their feedback as it is often the last 10% they hold back as it is difficult that is the most helpful and needed to be the best you can be. Sometimes that feedback can be a positive we do not want to embrace as it would require us to take responsibility for it.
3) Truth about other people. We can be blind about others when we are emotionally invested in them somehow (a boy or girl friend, a child, someone we hired, etc).
•    “Wise people are ‘cautions in friendships’ as the proverb says. They seek to get to know a person clearly, as the person truly is, before they hire him, marry him, become partners with him, or divorce him, fire him, or not go forward with him. We can be off in either direction, and the complete character is always asking, ‘Is this me, or him?’”
•    Judgment and Emotional States – we need the ability to control one’s thinking when emotions are inflamed
•    Often when we see things as wholly black or white, we miss a lot of reality.
•    “Resolving conflict is more than difficult, as resolutions usually requires an ability to see and work with the truth from the other side and integrate it into yours, finding a solution that transcends either polarity.”
•    Seeing It Differently: The Ability to Assimilate and Accommodate
o    It is a good thing for your view of the world to be the real one. But it is often not or it is incomplete.
o    We need the ability to make external reality our own.  First, to change, we need new information (assimilation).   Second, we need to make room for it in our view of the world.

We’re home; update on Cathy’s injury

1/9/09 update on Cathy – Cathy is recovering well. Yesterday Cathy got a walking boot so she is now more mobile.

Return home – We made it safely back to the US on December 30. The trip from Manila to Kansas is a long one, even under the best of conditions. With Cathy’s injury to her ankle, it was more difficult for her. But we were very well taken care of by Northwest Airlines and made it fine with all of our belongings.

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Cathy’s broken fibula – Cathy went to the doctor on New Year’s Eve and found out the problem is not a severely sprained ankle as we had thought but a broken lower fibula (the smaller bone of the lower leg). She got a splint on Wednesday and saw an orthopedic doctor yesterday.  It looks like she will be in some form of split or cast for a number of weeks. She is not enjoying being a couch potato with her ankle raised above her heart (as it is still swollen) and asks you to pray for her perseverance during this time.  The swelling seems to be gradually subsiding and the doctor may give her a walking cast next Wednesday.

Dealing with jet lag – I have heard jet lag is harder to deal with as you travel east than when you travel west. I would agree with this assessment based on my experience.  When I went west, I was exhausted early and then wake up early. On traveling east, I went to bed and then was not able to fall asleep. Very frustrating. Last night I finally got 6 hours of sleep. Cathy however is a great sleeper and has not had near the time to adjust as me.

Giving up dial-up – I am now Megan’s hero as we finally have give up on the internet via modem, now using a Sprint AirCard (satellite was our only other option). So far the Aircard is working fine so far.

Work – I will be returning to work on Monday after three weeks off. It is good that I am fairly well rested as it is going to be a very busy next four months with a legislative session (that will be difficult due to budget problems that Kansas is experience with everyone else) and a trial on one of our interestate water disputes on top of the normal duties of the chief engineer position.

David and Cathy’s 30th anniversary trip to the Philippines

Arriving in the Philippines and initial days, December 16, 2008

Cathy and I just arrived in the Philippines for our 30th wedding anniversary vacation and to see our daughter who is teaching here. We arrived late Sunday night.

The trip involved flights from Kansas City to Minneapolis, a 13.5-hour flight from Minneapolis to Tokyo and 5-hour flight from Tokyo to Manila with some time to transition from one plane to the other. A lot of sitting time over the 20 hours of flying.

In Manila getting through immigration and customs went fine. The only snag in our trip was connecting with Betsy in the mayhem at the place where people get picked up at the airport as we did not have any way of contacting each other.  We did not get to bed until 3:30 am local time, almost 30 hours since we left our home.

At the Manila airport
At the Manila airport

One first impression of Manila: its transportation.

Manila is city of about 10,000,000. The number of modes of transportation is very diverse. In additions to cars, trucks, buses and the like, there are a great number of small motor cycles, often with multiple passengers, and a form of transportation that is unique to the Philippines but used extensive: the Jeepney. They were originally made from US military jeeps left over from World War II and are flamboyantly decorated, with many passengers. They are somewhat a symbol of the culture here.

the Jeepney

While here, we will leave the driving to others as the rules of the road here are also a bit unique. Their road capacity is much less than they need and so the rules of the road are fluid to maximize carrying capacity. The bigger the vehicle, the more space it takes and the greater priority it has. The small forms use about any available space, yielding to larger vehicles as required. So where they are 4 marked lanes, you might have 5 or 6 actually lanes of traffic – the shoulders are fair gain as well. They use their horns very regularly to make their presence and intention known. So you must be constantly paying attention. I am amazed there are not more accidents but they are quite careful to avoid this.

The view from where we are staying

We are staying in an apartment next to Betsy’s that is near her school. It is outside the main city in an area that is a mixture of city and country. Attached is a photo of the view outside our window the morning after we got here.

Manila view from our apartment
Manila view from our apartment

Betsy – teaching at Faith Academy

Betsy is our oldest of three daughters. After graduating with a degree in elementary education from MidAmerica Nazarene University in Olathe in May 2007, she decided that her first year teaching (and then subsequently her second year) would overseas before getting settled into American life. She has been at Faith Academy here in Manila teaching Kindergartens of missionary families.

Betsy teaching her class
Betsy teaching her class

She loves to teach these young students. While challenging at times, she has found it rewarding and also enjoys her fellow teachers and experiencing another part of the world. For more, see her blog at: http://betsybarfield.wordpress.com/.

More from the Philippines, December 21, 2008

We had a great week with Betsy in Manila. Cathy spent two and half days helping her in her classroom. I was able to go up for much of a day and to get a tour of the school. We also spent some time visiting one of the ministries that Betsy and others there have participating in area squatters that includes a children’s home for orphans and neglected children, a school for these children and other needy children of the area, and more.

Overall, the week in Manila was very relaxing.

On Saturday we traveled to one of the favorite island resorts of the Philippines, Boracay. It is known for its beautiful beaches and excellent snorkeling/scuba diving.

Sorry to be so fixated on modes of transportation but it is one of the more interesting differences with this part of the world and most others. To get to Boracay, in addition to a taxi and plane ride, we had two “trike” rides (it is basically a side car for passengers and luggage strapped to motorcycle) and a ride on a Bangka boat.

David, Cathy and Betsy being transported by "trike"
David, Cathy and Betsy being transported by "trike"
Bangka boat
Bangka boat

It is beautiful here. We spent some time on the beach yesterday and today. We used sunscreen liberally, not wanting to repeat a mistake of our honeymoon when we got sun burnt the first day on the beach, esp. as we are very near the equator here.

Boracay Beach in the morning
Boracay Beach in the morning

Tomorrow Cathy and Betsy are going to do some para-sailing and then we are taking a sailboat ride to a location where I can some snorkeling. There are about 30 scuba diving companies here. I plan to do what is called a “discovery dive” where they teach you to scuba dive and take you on a first dive in a relatively shallow water (30 feet).

David and Cathy in Boracay

There is a lot of great food here as well. It was great having breakfast on the beach this morning.

Breakfast on the beach
Breakfast on the beach

We will be here 4 nights and then go back to Manila for part of a day and then go north to the rice terraces. More on that later.

Fun on the beach at Boracay, December 24, 2008

We have had a couple of great, active days here in Boracay on Monday and Tuesday.

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In addition relaxing, the enjoying the beach, eating some good food, shopping, etc, we decided each of us would do one thing we had never done before. Cathy and Betsy preferred to stay above the water whereas I wanted to do underneath of it.

Monday was Cathy’s birthday and she decided her special adventure for the time here would be para-sailing on her birthday. Betsy joined here as well. While they were a bit apprehensive of being lifted 300 feet into the air and held up with a sail, they did beautifully and enjoyed the 15 minutes in the air without getting wet during take off or landing.

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After this we rented a sailboat with crew and had a very enjoyable 2 hours cruise around the western side of the island and stopping at a two areas good for snorkeling. David greatly enjoyed this first underwater adventure, seeing a significant number of different small and colorful fish species as well as various plants on the rocks on the floor at these locations.

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For supper on her birthday we enjoyed a meal at a nice Indian restaurant.

Boracay is known for its scuba diving, with 30 scuba shops on the relatively small island.  On Tuesday, I had my big adventure, a “discovery dive”, a first adventure in scuba diving.  The instruction and experience was great! It may not be for everyone, but I really enjoyed it. The pictures below show me ready to go, practicing our skills in the shallow water before going deeper (which we did a lot of), and at the conclusion of my first 30 minute dive.  It was incredible; like being in a large salt water aquarium.  There were so many different fish species I could not keep them all in my head.

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I enjoyed it so much I did a second dive in the afternoon. This time I bought an underwater camera so I could capture some of what I saw (although I know it will not do it any justice).

Today we returned to Manila. Tomorrow we go off to the northern  part of Philippines known for its rice terraces. More on this later.

Hiking in the mountains of Banaue, December 29, 2008

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On Thursday we headed to the northern part of the island that includes Manila to the rice terraces. They are spectacular. As is often the case, our pictures don’t really give you much idea of the scope and beauty of the area. I am not sure that anyone really knows for sure but the locals say they have been here for about 2000 years, used to grow rice (and at times, other crops) over the centuries.

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You don’t build rice terraces in dry places. So as we started off on our hike, there was a light rain.

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Unfortunately, Cathy slipped, fell and sprained her ankle. The injury was complicated by the need to climb back up the way we came. Even with my help and the help of one of our guides, it took us a while to return to the top where we could get a ride back to our hotel.

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We have an appointment with the doctor when we get home to see what the damage is. The rest of the group continued on with the other guide we had hired (they suggested two in case something like this might happen).

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Despite the injury, it was still an unforgettable time.

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On returning to Manila, Betsy and I did some final shopping at the Green Hills shopping area.

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As I write this, I am taking a break from packing (after finding some crutches and ACE bandage for Cathy, no small feat in this part of the world (no pun intended), as well as getting us better seats on the plane, ordering wheelchairs at the airport, etc).

It has been great trip. We hope to see many of you soon.

David

Balancing Work and Rest

Like many others, my life has been out-of-balance for many years, working too much. In taking the chief engineer position last year, I only complicated matters even more. When I volunteered to teach for my pastor during his Thanksgiving vacation, I decided to spend some time on a study of the Scripture’s perspective on balancing work and rest. Below is a summary of what I found and a link to the sermon on my church’s web site.

David

A summary of “Balancing Work and Rest”
A sermon for December 7, 2008
David Barfield, Community Bible Church, Lawrence, KS

  • To listen or download the sermon
  • Disclosure: The insights of Steve & Mary Farrar’s Overcoming Overload was helpful in my study. It is a good read if you want more on this topic.]

Introduction – This teaching was motivated my need to deal with my own imbalance. I love to do worthwhile work and have overfilled my life. So this sermon is for the overwhelmed. I believe it is also significant implications for the distracted, those who overfilled their life with other things.

We live in a unique day: “24/7; always on” society. A day that always offers “more”: more choices everywhere, more activities, endless entertainment, endless pursuits of whatever your interests.

The danger: squeezed out of our lives is time to rest and reflect, making it is easy Continue reading Balancing Work and Rest

Promoted to Chief Engineer

In June, my boss of 23 years, the chief engineer of the Division of Water Resource, retired rather suddenly when a great opportunity came his way (and being ready for a break from the responsibility to spend more time with his family) .  The  day he retired  they asked me to be acting chief engineer while they did a national search for a permanent chief engineer.

I never aspired to be chief engineer as it is a very big job. But the months of serving as acting chief has changed my mind as a result of the many who encouraged me that I could do the job, thegreat support from our central office, and the DWR’s great staff.  So I applied.

On November  19,  2007, it was announced that I had been selected to serve as Kansas 5th chief engineer (since the position was established in 1927). Below is a link to the press release.

http://www.ksda.gov/news/id/137


Continue reading Promoted to Chief Engineer

Accepting and rejecting limitless opportunities

[This is an update of an earlier post; I keep reflecting on it]

Here is a quote worth reflecting on (from an article by Jeff Jones entitled “Getting With the Program” in the Center for Church Based Training’s Life Development Planner that our church’s elders and wives have been doing together):

“Each of us can invest our time, talents, and treasure in many ways. Life involves a process of accepting and rejecting limitless time-consuming opportunities. The same is true of money and the use of talents. We cannot do it all. Those who are effective for God and are actively used by Him to further his mission are those who focus the energy and resources on the Church’s mission.”

I can identify with the quote as I am sure you can. I am continually being invited to almost innumerable opportunities.

The Barfields’ transitions, summer 2007

This spring I noted that all three of our girls were graduating, Betsy and Amy from college and Megan from high school. Helping them each figure out and prepare for their next steps has been one focus of summer.

Betsy is now in the Philippines in her first year of teaching, teaching Kindergarten (as she wanted to do) at Faith Academy. See her blog for much more (http://betsybarfield.wordpress.com)

Amy is an piano accompanist at Olathe North High school. She is living with her friend Molly Jensen and 4 other young women at a house in Lawrence.

Megan is attending Washburn University in Topeka, while living at home. She is taking Biology, Chemistry, Writing, and College Algebra this first semester.

Cathy is teaching two science classes to homeschool students and transitioning to a quieter home life. She has been spending more time with church and is helping get a number of the homeschool activities off the ground for the new school year.

I am going through my own transitions. During late May, my boss of 24 years, the Chief Engineer of the Kansas Division of Water Resources, suddenly retired as a result of a special opportunity that came up. I was asked to be acting Chief Engineer while they search for a permanent chief engineer. I have been acting CE for three months now (they are saying it could be as much as six months as they do a national search). I never aspired to the job as it always seemed too much for me in light of the priorities of home and ministry to my life. Yet after doing it for three months, it seems more doable due to the competent staff at DWR, esp. with the girls transitioning out of our home.  So I am now an applicant for the job. Stay tuned.